One of the biggest things about me is that I love love LOVE people!! They energize me! I love meeting new people and finding out all about them, seeing how we are similar and what makes them unique. I adore hearing stories. Seriously, it’s part of who I am- I’m drawn to stories- engaging with real, vulnerable, uncensored experiences is part of my “why”- what gives me life and purpose. It’s partly why I am good at photography, and love being part of weddings and events!
Another part of me, another big part, is that I’m insecure. Now - God is working on me, and I’m hoping that I won’t be this way forever. I have made so much progress in this area, but it still has hold on me. I just don’t often think that people ACTUALLY like me.
Girls, I know you identify with this right?!? You have an awesome catch up with someone, and then you see they post something a few days later on social media about “besties are the best”... blah blah blah (insert photo of them hanging out with NOT you). Doubt creeps into your mind about whether they valued your time together, and you try to shake it off... but it hangs around like a shirt you have to throw out because the BO is stuck in the fibres.
Too often I find myself in this place, and it taking control of my mind and in turn, my day. I know in my head that Jesus Loves Me, but often wonder why He’s the only one. (Insert pity party here).
God has been showing me that I am believing a lie, and not His truth. That insecurity is a tool the devil is using to stop me from deeply connecting with other people- to make me feel alone and therefore ineffectual.
I’m challenging you and me today, when those thoughts come up, when the paranoid, insecure seeds are planted- to recognise that they are not helpful, and ask Jesus to come right then in that moment. He’s the great healer!!
But I’m deciding to also take action. My friend Kim and I have this agreement- we are always going to believe well of each other! So, we haven’t messaged back in like 8 (or 19) days! Stuff must be going on with Kim! As far as she needs to be concerned, I always like her!!!!! I’m always there for her, no matter how much distance we feel. I want to be the one that people can rely on to like them, to know them, and enjoy spending time with them.
That as far as anyone is concerned- Bethany likes you! You don’t have to doubt it, just be secure in it. That’s the way it is.
So! You feel upset that someone hasn’t remembered you… contact them first! Be proactive! A person learning to be free from insecurities can initiate rather than retreat.
Heck I’m so not perfect at this. I’m a messed up person, but I’m desperate for healing in this area, I’ve been held captive for too long. Insecurity may always be part of my personality make up, but I KNOW what it feels like, and by the grace of God I’m going to let God turn my weakness into strength.